Learning to Be Happy

Three months might be the longest I have ever gone between blog posts, but I just needed a break – from pretty much everything.

I needed time to focus on me — to figure out how to navigate these new food sensitivities, to prepare for one of the biggest trade shows of my life, to figure out who I am, to find myself, to just relax. These food sensitivities have turned my world upside down, mentally, physically and ethically. It was hard to process, and still is, but I just needed time.

As a journalist, I write every day. I needed a break from that, too. I needed to figure out why I still wanted to do this anymore. If I still wanted to write my this, The Adirondack Chick and My Tail Hurts From Wagging So Much, and if I did, what did I want each site to look like and represent?

The ironic part is that I did a bunch of traveling, exploring, self-reflection and cooking that would be perfect for all of my sites. There was a part of me that wanted to sit down at my iPad and write about it, or upload photos to a post from my phone, but it’s exhausting. And, it took a while, but I realized that it’s OK not to do that.

Will I write about all my adventures of the past few months? I hope so. But, I need to do it on my terms. I don’t put a lot of effort into SEO or marketing of my blogs anymore, despite telling other people they should. It’s a very much do as I say and not do as I do, because once I am done helping everyone everyone else, the last thing I want to do is do it for myself.

Yes, I could pay someone, but that’s another thing, I am really trying to save money. I would rather spend $500 on a trip to Nashville with my sorority sisters than pay for my site to show up first when someone searches “nashville getaway.”

My blogs have helped me professionally in many ways, and I am so grateful for that. But, I’m also at a point where I need to do what makes me feel good, and stepping away from the “blogger” scene has really been good. Yes, I have written a few sponsored posts, and that was great, but I want to do more regular freelance. Instead of just writing here about what to do in Milwaukee for 48 hours if you go, I want to get paid for that piece to appear in Budget Travel magazine.

Maybe its because I turned 35 this year. Maybe it’s because I feel so much better after learning about all these food sensitivities and how I was basically poisoning my body when I thought I was doing something good. Maybe it’s because I am living truly on my own in a place that I am extremely happy in. Maybe it’s because I have a job that I love with co-workers who work as a team, believe in me and support each other.

I don’t know what it is, but for the first time in a very long time, I am happy.

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