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Will He Be the One?

I can’t sleep. It’s almost 2am and I am in bed snuggled with my dogs. 

My mind keeps racing.

Filled with anxiety and hope, I keep thinking, “will he be the one?” 

But, then the doubt sets in. 

“You’ve been through this before. Don’t set yourself up for failure.

What if he asks you to do something you don’t want to do, like eat meat? Will you begrudgingly comply? ” 

I’m going to a holistic-type doctor tomorrow for the first time to try and correct all the issues I live with on a daily basis, and have been living with for years. Traditional doctors don’t seem to help, so what do I have to lose? 

I want to feel better, but have been down this road before. Allergy shots? Check. Gluten elimination? Check. Dairy elimination? Check. Blood tests? Check. 

It was sometime after the allergy shots that all my digestive issues got worse. I feel like I’ve read every book, every article and nothing helps long term. 

This has been going on for years and is nothing new. I’ve come to the point where not feeling well is the norm and when I do feel good I am so excited that I never want the feeling to leave. 

The thing is, I can’t pin-point what it is. Take last night for example, I had a gluten-free, vegan dinner including a salad and grilled veggie burger, and I feel horrible. Yet, the night before I had almost the same thing and felt great. 

Why? 

Why can come days I have pasta with no problems and then two days later it causes me more digestive issues that I lose count. 

I just want to feel better. I’m not looking for a miracle, but I am looking for some long-term relief.

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