I’ve given up on the thought of dating, which is a little different than giving up on dating. I think dating is great, just not for me.
You go online, search through a bunch of profiles, wink at them, you email them, they email you.You meet a guy, or girl, at a bar, hit it off, exchange numbers, text a little and go on a date. You have a friend who knows a friend who knows another friend. Somehow, numbers are exchanged and you’re meeting up for drinks a week later. It’s all a nice little packaged story.
That just doesn’t seem to work for me. In fact, I haven’t been on many true dates in my life. And, when I have gone on actual dates, none of them live up to the hype. The back and forth on dating sites, the emailing, the “hey, lets talk on the phone,” or text. Then, lets meet for coffee, or dinner, or a drink. Dating is dull. I can have dinner, or coffee, with anyone.
I’ve met lots of people, I’ve had some really romantic times, and great experiences that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Like, the time a guy I was with randomly hailed a cab and told the driver to take us to the best drive bar in the area, and afterward we took another cab to historic sites all over Philadelphia. Or, the time we made snow angels in the middle of a snow-covered parking lot of a casino in the middle of a blizzard.
The thing is, they all sound like dates, but they weren’t.
Don’t get me wrong, all the ads in my Facebook feed and on Twitter for eHarmony are tempting. I think to myself, “well, it works for other people, why not give it another shot?” I get upset on a Saturday night when I am home alone writing with my dogs on each side of me, a glass of wine in my hand, and think, “I should be on a date right now. I’m a total f–k up.”
But, something changed the other day, and I thought, “I see ads for juicy steaks, and even sit next friends who are chomping down on meaty hamburgers topped with cheese, crisp lettuce and ripe tomatoes, but as a vegetarian who is 90 percent vegan, that doesn’t work for me and I don’t feel guilty or upset about that!” So, why should dating be any different?
Dating doesn’t work for me for some reason, and instead of being upset about it, I need to just realize that it’s not my cup of tea, and move on. It’s OK not to be like everyone else.